Caring is a service of guidance & support. It is not an emotional state of being. The question for every carer is: Who am I being whilst I am giving a service of care?
I care for & support another with compassion.
I care about & guide another with empathy.
I take care of another with humility.
Humility is the state of being grounded in physical reality. I am grounded in physical reality when I am taking responsibility for causing what I am personally experiencing as my physical reality. Unless I am responsible for causing my reality, I cannot respond to whatever is occurring, in a beneficial way. The most beneficial response in life is to accept whatever is occurring with good grace as this allows what is occurring to be viewed more beneficially & favourably.
I can only accept in my life what I feel really good about. What I feel really good about is most acceptable. Whatever doesn’t feel good, I will have to tolerate until it either becomes intolerable or I change it for a better choice of experience.
No matter how hard I try, I can never change other people, unless I first change myself. Feeling really bad about what is occurring in my life is an indication that I need to change something in my Self. The only thing that I ever need to change in myself is my perspective of what is occurring. When I see whatever is occurring as good & beneficial, there is no reason to change it and every reason to be in gratitude & appreciation of it.
When what I am experiencing in my life appears to be bad or detrimental for me, I am looking at life from a wrong or false perspective. It is my wrong or false perspective that is causing my bad experience in life. The better I perceive life to be, the more beneficial is my experience of life and the worse I perceive life to be, the more detrimental my experience of life becomes.
I always experience the effect of my own belief system, which is the cause of my experience. I always experience life as I believe life to be. My beliefs determine my perspective and my perspective determines my experience. In my experience, some very unreal beliefs can cause a very real experience of life.
Dementia is a prime example of an unfavourable experience caused by a faulty or malfunctioning sub-conscious belief system. Dementia is not necessarily a disease that happens to people. The most common cause of dementia is the belief that my memory fades as I get older. The belief that my eye sight fails, my hearing suffers and my muscle mass declines are all fears and false limiting beliefs about old age that are self fulfilling.
Although we may believe that our experiences cause our beliefs about reality, it is in fact our beliefs that cause our experience of reality. Nobody consciously causes their own detrimental experience in life. It is not the conscious mind that is impaired by dementia. With dementia, I still have full use of my five physical senses, even though their ability to function well may have declined with age. It is through my physical senses that I determine my experience of physical reality. What I perceive to be real with my physical senses forms the basis of my perspective and my belief in what is real.
The beliefs that determine my behaviour are my personal perspective of how to live life in physicality to the best of my ability. We are all trying our best to do what we believe is beneficial for our Self as a real experience of life, from our own personal perspective.
Dementia is an extreme expression of our worst inability to live a beneficial & fulfilling life, caused by a host of detrimental beliefs forming a false perspective of what is actually real & true. There is no benefit to be experienced with a false perspective of life.
Caring is a service that offers guidance on a better perspective of life. A guide is there to show a better way and offer the support required to live life in a better way.
Guiding & supporting another on a beneficial path is simple, but it is not easy. A beneficial path always feels good, and when something feels good, I feel supported. In essence, nobody needs support when they are feeling good. Guiding someone to simply do whatever feels good is the best way to offer them support.
I cannot offer someone with dementia mental support or emotional guidance, as they do not have the mental capacity to understand either. I can however support someone with dementia with mental guidance, when I know that mental guidance is in alignment with what feels good for them.
Dementia impairs mental choice but it does not inhibit emotional feelings. Guiding another on a beneficial mental path is a simple matter of allowing them to do whatever emotionally feels good for them. When I allow someone to do what feels good for them, I am supporting them with their own empowered feelings.
I care for someone emotionally by supporting them to do what feels good for them.
I care about someone mentally when I guide them to make choices that feel good for them.
When I share an experience of what feels good for another with another, I experience true compassion.
When I allow another to follow their beneficial choices, they are on a beneficial path and I have empathy with their path because it is always my intention to follow a beneficial path. When I allow another to follow a path that is beneficial for them, there is no resistance on my beneficial path, so I am in empathy with their good feeling path.
There simply is only one way to guide someone on a beneficial path and that is to choose the path that feels good for them; in the certain knowledge that this is the only path that is truly supported because it is empowered with the person’s own positive energy.
The ability to feel good is not a service that can be given or received. Feeling good is an emotional experience of well-being and happiness that is innate, which cannot be given to others or received by others. In the same way that compassion & empathy is not an emotional state of being that is given or received but a personal attribute that is attained and shared.