Assertiveness is a quality attainment of choice. How well I assert my choice determines the quality of my choice. I can assert my choice in a positive way, with authority or in a negative way, without authority.
Negatively assertive authority is called will power. Negative authority is not empowered and will require the motivation of will power, to be assertive. My choice always has authority as I am always authorised to make choices. However my choice of authority is not always empowered. When my choice is empowered, it is beneficially effective. My choice is the effect of my creatively empowered authority. It is therefore, only beneficial for my Self to assert my authority when I am inspired to do so.
I assert my authority well, when I make a choice that feels good. Asserting my authority in a way that does not feel good is never wise.
Assertiveness has a choice of polarity, which is either positive or negative. I cannot assert my authority in a neutral way. When I do not assert my authority, I have a neutral interest in whatever is occurring. Non-assertive action is neutral because it asserts no power or authority as one’s default choice. When I assert my choice with my own empowered authority, it is positively polarised and acceptable. When I assert my choice over someone else’s choice, I override their authority with my own. This is negatively polarised and disempowers us both when it is tolerated as an imposition. When two people are similarly disempowered, they will compete for the authority to make each other’s choices. Trying to assert my authority over the choice of another is never positively empowered. Stealing other people’s energy, by influencing their authority, may feel good but it is never positively empowered with authority.
When another person is asserting their choice in an agreeable way, I offer no resistance. Similarly, when I am asserting my choice without resistance, other people are finding my choice agreeable. The paradox of assertiveness is that when I assert my choice in an agreeable way, I am not seen to be assertive.
Assertiveness is seen as being disagreeable when it is imposed on other people. An imposition, no matter how assertive, is always seen from a negative perspective. Asserting my authority over other people is not always seen as disagreeable to them. Many people choose to defer their authority to the choices of others. They do not see other people’s authority as an imposition, so they agree to it.
When I agree to assert my choice without imposition, it is always positively and mutually beneficial.