It is a common belief that when you are not bothered, you do not care.
When I am not bothered, my emotional energy is positive because I am not tolerating whatever I am caring to do. Tolerating anything is a problem, a toleration and a bother.
When caring for another, I am bothered when they are a problem that I am tolerating. Eventually, all tolerations become intolerable, usually when I lose my patience.
Patience allows me to tolerate a Patient, patiently, without being too bothered. When I am too bothered, I become impatient & intolerant. When I lose my patience, I also lose my Patient.
When I am bothered, my patient is patiently tolerating my care. When I lose my patience, I bother my patient and we are both bothered.
When we both err, we are both in bother.
Dementia patients especially, do not like to be bothered. When a dementia patient doesn’t know that they are ill, they do not know what all the fuss and bother is about. Bothering to care for someone who is peaceful & content in their own mind, causes a problem for them; which bothers them.
Caring is never a problem, a toleration or a bother when delivered with sensitivity, gentleness & kindliness. Giving care is only acceptable when given carefully. For the client to be accepting of the care, the Carer is required to be accepting of the Patient.
Accepting a Patient without conditions is an expression of unconditional love. When care is administered without conditions, there is no problem to tolerate and no bother is experienced.
When the Carer stops bothering the patient, the patient is no longer bothered.