“Emotional Needs”

The Emotional Need for Power

There is one primary Emotional Need and that is the Need for Emotional Power.

I need emotional power when I am disconnected from my Source of Emotional Power.

The Source of my Emotional Power is my Soul, who is my Grace, my Omnipotence and my Lord Almighty.

When I am connected, inspired and empowered by the authority of my chosen Life Path, I have no emotional needs.

When I am off-track and aligned with my Self, I will need to get my emotional needs met in order to accomplish the will of my ego’s desires.

My emotional need for power presents itself in either an introvert or an extrovert way.

The Need for Love creates an extrovert personality as my ego seeks its power from other people.

The Need for Space creates an introvert personality as my ego seeks to replenish its power itself.

The Need for Power becomes either a need to be loved or a need to have space and determines whether my personality is introvert or extrovert.

My need to be loved and my need to have space are then subject to different characteristics and change their nature dependent on the beliefs that also determine my character.

As I change my beliefs, I change my character and I change my needs, which changes my personality.

The Source of my True Identity is the Source of my True Power.


The Need to be Loved

I need to be Loved when I am disconnected from the Source of my Love.

My Soul & Inner Coach is the Source of my Love.

My Source of emotional power comes from the Heart of my Being.

This is the Soul’s Love for its Self.

When disconnected from our Soul, we will seek our emotional power from the external world.

Whatever external power we seek is an emotional need.

Once connected to our True Emotional Power of Love from our Heart, we have no emotional need to be Loved – because we know that we are.

We connect to our Heart & Soul to receive Love. We attach our Self to another or a false god, as a substitute for the love that we need.

True Love flows in a positive direction from Source, through our Self, to the world as a whole.

The need to be Loved is the result of negative resistance, false beliefs, and life dramas that disconnect us from our Source.


The Need to be Involved 

Also know as the Need to be Included.

It is the need to be not excluded.

It is created by the fear of being rejected, being excluded, being unwanted and being alone.

It is based on a belief that we are all individuals that need each other for our own survival.

It creates my involvement in a roller coaster of continuous dramatic experiences in my life.

It will suck me into all sorts of dramas, many of which have nothing to do with me at all.

It is driven by my dependency on other people to supply my emotional energy needs, and the belief that:

“If I am not involved in what other people are doing, how are they going to meet my emotional needs for me?”

My Sensitive Detachment as a Participating Observer allows me to socialise with my peers and colleagues without the need to be involved and without the fear of being rejected or excluded.


The Need to Succeed

A low status creates a need to attain.

A lack of knowledge creates a need to accomplish.

A scarcity of money creates a need to achieve.

Low status, little knowledge and no money, creates a need to succeed.

“Being born with a silver spoon” means that success has been succeeded or inherited by virtue of the status, knowledge and material wealth of the family into which one is born.

Being born into an influential family means that there is no need to succeed. However, whereas there may develop a need to accomplish new areas of knowledge or the need to achieve making ones own money, there is no need to attain status as this comes with the succession.

Status gives a false sense of self-esteem but is without the true power of Self-Worth.

Knowledge gives a false sense of self-worth but is without the true authority of Self-Confidence.

Money gives a false sense of self-confidence but is without the true ability of Self-Esteem.

True Success is:

  • Attaining the Self-Confidence of being Fulfilled with my own Authority.
  • Accomplishing the Self-Worth of the Joy of my own Power.
  • Achieving the Self-Esteem of the Contentment of my own Ability.


The Need to Win

My Need to Win will drive me to compete.

The greater my need to win, the greater my desire to compete.

The most extreme form of competition is war.

War is fought between competing nations or religions because the leaders have a need to win and a need for superiority.

The need to win is the need to be superior or better than other people.

Being better than other people allows them to defer their emotional power to us.

Needing to win power from other people is only necessary when I am disconnected from my own source of emotional power.

The need to win is prevalent amongst life’s losers.

Winning & losing is a duality of the same energy.

One cannot be a winner without also being a loser.

Needing to win is never overcome by winning.

The possibility of losing exists in every battle.

In a society where all people know that they are equal, there is no need to be better than others, be superior to others, compete against others, and therefore there is no need to win.

In a Truly Equal Society the ‘inner battle’ has already been won.


The Need for Order

The Need for order is created by the belief that chaos exists.

Chaos Theory substantiates the belief that chaos is real.

Order & chaos are a duality of relative existence.

In the midst of chaos, I will need order.

The order I choose is determined by my Self.

The chaos that I experience is created by my Self.

The more that I try to put my life in order my self, the more chaos I create, and the more order I will need.

The only order that I need to follow is my path and the only order that I need is to follow my path.

Following the order or the orders of other people will take me off my own path onto another’s path.

Following someone else’s path will lead to chaos because it has no order for my Self, being neither ordered nor authorised.

My Soul provides an orderly path for my Self; I am authorised to follow it, but I am not ordered to follow it; I have to choose it as myself.

There is no chaos on my effortless path and no order is needed when I accept that everything is always provided on time in Divine Order.

Once I accept that no order is required I no longer have a need for order.


The Need for Space

Space is a metaphor for emotional energy.

The source of my emotional energy is the ‘gap’ in Space.

Energy exists in the gap or space between matter.

In the gap, I am divinely connected to my emotional energy and I have no need for space, because I have all the space I need.

Disconnected from my divine source of emotional energy, I am not in the gap, I am grounded in matter, and I will need space to connect to my power.

The reason for my distraction and disconnection is usually other people.

When I need other people for my emotional energy supply, they are necessary, and I am attached to them emotionally.

When other people are not supplying the emotional energy that I need, I will need space between my self and others, and I will need to detach from them.

When I no longer need them, I am no longer attached to them.

I create space or a gap between my Self and others to limit my energy drain and to contain my emotional power. As an Aloof, I will retreat to my ‘cave’.

The space or gap between my Self and others is not the Divine Gap of Space.

My disconnection from others and my non-attachment to others is necessary for my connection to my True Source of Power, which is my Soul.

My Soul resides in the Gap of Space and meditation is my ‘space craft’.


The Need to be Appreciated

I need to be appreciated when I do not value my own self-worth.

When our self-worth is depreciated, we may need appreciation from others.

The need to achieve is often driven by the need to be appreciated.

When others appreciate what we do and achieve, we learn to do things for the appreciation that we receive.

When appreciation is the reward for achievement, we associate accomplishment with self-worth and our value is directly related to what we do and achieve rather than who we are.

Whereas achievement gains appreciation, we may need approval before being able to achieve anything.

When we risk disapproval, we will fear the failure of non-achievement and not being appreciated.

When the price of failure becomes disapproval and depreciation as opposed to the rewards of approval and appreciation of success, we have too much invested in the duality of success and failure.

Success or failure, appreciation or depreciation, approval and disapproval, are just opposing perspectives of the same energy.


The Need to Be Right

The need to be right is created by our fear that we can be wrong.

Fear is an acronym for ‘false evidence appearing real’.

The appearance of what is false or wrong will create the need to be right.

In this relative world of dual reality, right and wrong exist as opposing perspectives of the same energy.

Being wrong is possible when we believe that there is only one true reality.

The illusion is that we all appear to share the same time and reality, yet we all individually operate at different wavelengths, frequencies and vibrations of energy.

We inhabit different realities based on our perspective of life.

When we share a perspective of life, we share that reality with another. What makes it true or false, right or wrong is just our perspective of it.

When we adopt another’s perspective on life, we follow their authority, which is never right for us, and will create a need to be right because we are on the wrong track for us.

Our need to be right will surface as having an issue with Authority. Our rebellion against the authority of others is driven by our need to be right our self.

When we accept that life just is exactly how we have individually created it, we know that we all have choice and whatever we choose will create our own personal, unique and exclusive reality that exists within an illusion of one shared reality called life on Earth.

Once we can consciously see our own reality and accept that other people have their own reality, we can never be wrong and we will never again need to be right.


The Need to be Needed

Our Soul needs our Self.

Our Soul is our Spiritual Entity that requires a Self to Be its physical Identity.

Without the Spiritual Entity our Self is just a material Id.

The material Id is born into physicality and becomes conscious of its Self.

The awareness of the conscious self is called the ego. The unawareness of our conscious self is called the sub-conscious id.

The sub-conscious id and the conscious ego, that is our self, follows the fate of its upbringing and the programming that it receives from family, friends and society.

Whereas the Soul needs the Self in order to experience, discover and explore physical life, the Self exists quite autonomously in ignorance of the Soul, until it becomes ‘awakened’.

The Souls vision, mission and purpose in life is designed to accomplish personal expansive growth for its Self.

In the absence of being connected to what our Soul knows, the Self knows it is needed but doesn’t know why. This develops in the Self a need to be needed which will only be met once the Self knows what it needs to do.

When we know that our Soul needs our Self, we know that we are needed and our need to be needed is satisfied, at which point we become content, fulfilled and joyful knowing the connection that we have with the Soul our Inner Coach.


The Need for Respect

The Need for Respect manifests when others do not see me as I wish to be seen.

When others do not see me as I wish to be seen, they do not show me the respect that I need from them.

My need for respect is created by the image that I portray to other people.

I portray an image of a personality and a character that I believe others will look up to and respect.

I will need respect when I believe that respect needs to be earned and deserved.

I will need respect from others when I have no respect for my Self.

I cannot have respect for my Self until I can see my Self as my True Self – my Soul.

When I can re-see my Self, I have re-spect for my Self.

When I see my Self through the eyes of my Soul, I have all the respect that I will ever need.

My Soul has total and unconditional respect for my Self. It is All-Seeing of who I really am.


The Need to be Allowed

The Need to be Allowed manifests as the need to get my own way.

The need to get my own way is created by my belief that I do not have my own way and I am not getting my own way.

The need to get my own way becomes excessive when I believe that someone is stopping me from getting my own way and I believe that I am not allowed to have my own way.

The need to be allowed can manifest as the need to be independent, the need to be right, the need to be heard or the need for my own space.

I need to be allowed to follow my own path when I believe that someone or something is blocking my way.

My path is never dependent on others.

They are there purely to give my Self direction and to reflect my challenges, never to disallow my path.

When I know my path, I know that I am allowed to follow it and I know that I have no need to be allowed because I am.

When I believe that I am not allowed to follow it, I am going in the wrong direction and I am facing an opportunity for growth.

Being allowed requires my state of Being Allowing.

When I allow all others to follow their path, I am allowed to follow my own.


The Need for Approval

Deep down, I intuitively know that I am perfect.

On the surface, I experience with my physical senses all the imperfection of life.

In my created reality, I disapprove of all the imperfection because I know that it is not really me.

The experience of my created reality reinforces my disapproval of my Self.

My Self has created an imperfect reality and the disapproval of its own creation.

My reality is that the disapproval of myself has created the disapproval of my Self by myself.

In the disapproval of my Self, I believe that I need approval and I seek it from those closest to me who reflect that disapproval to me.

Their approval replaces the emotional energy that my disapproval depletes.

Sub-consciously, I know that I need approval and my behaviour is driven by that need for approval from the only place that I have ever received it – friends and relatives who have given me their approval in the past.

Once conscious of my need for approval, I can consciously choose my source of approval and learn to unconditionally give approval to my Self.

The only time that I do not need approval is the time when I already have it.

The only way to have self-approval is to attain the state of Being Approving.

When I am Being unconditionally Approving of my Self, I am Being my Soul and life is Divine.

My need for approval will attach me to the authority of another because they give me their power in exchange for my obedience to their authority.

When I follow the path of another, I will eventually disapprove of their authority as a reflection of their disapproval when I do not do as they expect.

Disapproval of others will manifest as intolerance of their actions and result in the imposition of a boundary on their behaviour, lest we become incapacitated by their disobedience to our desires.

What we desire or want is what we consider right for us and therefore what we approve of. We impose our right on another because of our need for approval, which manifests as our need to be right. When we are seen as wrong, we are at risk of disapproval, which creates the need for approval.

Children with a need for approval become parents with a need to be right, who demand obedience from their children and create in them a need for approval. So the circle of inheritance proceeds.

The transition of a teenager from needing approval to needing to be right is seen by the parents as a period of rebellion against their authority, approval and right thinking.

We will continually seek the approval of others that we are right until we learn to unconditionally allow what others have, accept what others do and approve of who others are being.

Only then will we approve of who we are being, allow what we desire to manifest and accept whatever occurs in our life as perfect.


The Need to be Safe & Secure

The Need to be Safe & Secure is created by the belief that I am at risk and in danger.

Believing that I am at risk and in danger depletes my emotional energy reserves.

The sub-conscious manager of my emotional energy reserves needs me to be safe & secure to stop the drain of emotional energy.

The negative state of being that is created by a negative belief is called fear.

I have a fear of being unsafe, unprotected and insecure from the risks and dangers that I believe to exist in my life.

When I am protected and cared for, I am not in danger and not at risk and my emotional energy is stable.

An unsafe and insecure existence confirms my need for a ‘white knight’ who is a protector and meets my need to feel safe and secure.

When I know that my White Knight is my Soul, I know that I am always protected on my journey through life.

I know that I am never at risk, never in danger and have no need to be safe & secure, because I am, I always have been and I always will be.


The Need to Know

The Need to Know is the need to be informed.

When I am informed, I know what I am doing, I am connected to my inner guidance and my highest authority.

My mission on Earth is on a ‘Need to Know’ basis.

In regular communication with ‘mission control’, I am kept informed, moment by moment, of everything that I need to know.

When my communication with my guiding authority is disconnected, I develop a need to know and a need to be kept informed because I don’t know what to do and I have no idea why I am here.

My need to know is a lack of information that is the result of my lack of direction.

My emotional need to know is created by my lack of emotional energy when I am uninformed.

When uninformed, I am not in form, I have no information, I suffer the disorder of disinformation, bad guidance and poor discernment that is created by my limiting beliefs and my fears.

Knowing allows me to be continually empowered and inspired.

When I know, I have met my need to know and no longer have a need to know because I know.

Intuition meets my need to know, not knowledge.


The Need to be of Service

The Need to be of Service is the need to care for others, the need to be kind & generous and the need to be needed.

These needs are what are needed emotionally by the one being of service to another.

My service to another is conditional on my emotional need being met.

I need to be of service when my emotional energy is low.

Helping other people raises my energy emotionally.

How can I truly help other people when my emotional energy is low?

How can I be of service when I am motivated to get my needs met and driven by my need for emotional power?

Needing to be of service is a state of being disempowered and disconnected from my true source of power.

I am driven not by love but my emotional need for love from the one I am in service to.

Being of Service to others has True Value.

It is only possible to be of service to others when I am inspired, empowered and connected to my True Source of Power.

I can only truly be of service to others once I no longer need to be of service to others.

When in service to my Soul, I connect to my true source of emotional power that allows me to be of service to all others.


The Need for Self-Worth

Also manifests as the Need to be of Value and the Need to be Valued.

When I know my value and my worth, I have no Need for Self-Worth.

When I value my Self, I have self-worth and I have no need for self-worth because I have it.

Having emotional needs deplete my self-worth.

Emotional needs are created by my belief that there are aspects of my Self that lack value and are worthless.

Any belief that creates an emotional need is a limiting belief, because it limits my ability to connect to my true power.

My self-worth is a measure of my emotional power.

The magnitude of my emotional power determines my level of self-worth.

My emotional power is a measure of my value that I value.

The more valuable I know my Self to be, the more powerful that I am.

The more powerful I feel my Self to be, the more worthy I am.

My Source of Power that is the source of my self-worth, is within me.

It is the disconnection from my Source and my source of emotional power that devalues my self-worth and creates my emotional needs.

It is the disconnection of my Self from my Soul that creates my need for self-worth and my need to be of value that is valued by others.

I need self-worth when I do not see my value or see my Self as worthy.

My Soul always sees my Self as Worthy.

My Soul knows how valuable my Self is.

The value of my Self to my Soul is immeasurable and infinite.


My Need to be Loved

My Need to be Loved is created by my belief that I am disconnected from my True Power.

When I am disconnected from my Source of Power, I need to be Loved.

All my emotional needs are an aspect of Love that is missing from my Life.

As an infant, I attached myself to my Parents as my emotional source of power.

I developed a need for approval because my parents’ disapproval disconnected me from their emotional energy.

I developed a need to achieve because my Father & my Mother praised me with approval of whatever I achieved in my life.

I developed a need to be appreciated because my Parents appreciated what I did for them.

I developed a need to be needed because if no one needed me where would I get my emotional energy?

As I grew up and became unattached from my parents emotionally, I sub-consciously learned to get my need for approval, my need for appreciation, and my need for achievement met by my friends, my teachers, my employers and anyone else who needed me and met my need to be needed.

As I spiritually grow and learn to connect to my True Source of Power, I know that I no longer need to be Loved because I am Loved, I am appreciated for what I do, I have approval for who I am being, I can never fail, and I am needed, every moment of every day for the rest of my Life, by my Source of Eternal Love – my Soul.

Emotional Needs


“UK Needs Lists”: A list of 180 Emotional Needs listed under the 18 Primary Emotional Needs is available by clicking on the following link:

UK Needs Lists


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